"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..." A song I've heard and sung along to all of my life. Today, the song spoke to me. "My chains are gone, I've been set free" has never meant to me what it meant to me today. In one week God has seen me broken, molded me, and moved my heart. I am completely a work in progress. Every day is a battle, but a battle that WILL be won with my God by my side.
Hebrews 10:35-36 says "So don't throw away your confidence-it brings great reward. You need to endure so that you can receive the promises after you do God's will"
Most of my struggle is trying to understand "why"... Why did this happen? What will happen next? Where will I end up? Why would God let me suffer? -- It is when I read passages like these that God gives me the peace that no matter what the "why" is in any situation, it is because he is building me up.
Soul Detox day 7's devotion is from Colossians 3:1-7
"Think about the things above and not the things on earth. You died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory." (Colossians 3:2-4)
I have needed a cleanse of my life. From a lot of things. I didn't want to see it or give it up because I had become so involved, so wrapped up in the thoughts and wishes that I had. It is a struggle each day not to think about, or even wish for, some of these things again. I HAVE to let them go to get to GOD.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Between reading the Soul Detox plan, the Surrendered Life plan, and the book: When the Pieces Don't Fit...God Makes the Difference I feel a strong tugging at my heart to completely let go, to completely surrender.
I am on day 4 of Soul Detox. I have felt moved while reading days 1-3, but today I felt God was really speaking to me. Philippians 4:1-13 was the text. It was when I got to 4:6-7 that I truly opened my eyes and heart to why God sent this scripture to me.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
Oddly, I started day 1 of Living the Surrendered Life right after reading the Soul Detox. The Surrendered Life focused on Matthew 6:25-27. The entire passage focuses on worrying. God tells us not to worry what we will eat or what we will wear. For he provides for even the birds, and I am far more worthy to Him.
"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life" (Matthew 6:27)
Later, I decided to end my night with the book my mom gave me When The Pieces Don't Fit...God Makes The Difference. I was reading Chapter 2 Whose Job Is It Anyway? The opening passage to the chapter Isaiah 55:8 "This plan of mine is not what you think would work." The chapter deals with a teacher's struggle to fit at a school God led her to. She turns to Him for help dealing with disciplinary issues. Toward the end of the chapter I felt that tugging at my heart as I saw in the middle of the page:
"Knowing God results in every kind of understanding." (Proverbs 9:10)
A pretty in depth lesson on letting go followed. The chapter ended with:
"But He...God...
God, the Teacher
God, the Counselor
...would make up the difference
And he'd do part of it through me if I let Him."
"His name shall be called Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6)
What are the chances that I found three totally separate, yet totally related, readings on a night I was anxious, worried, and unable to let go?
GOD.
I find myself often times trying to put pieces together that don't always fit. I try to look for an answer that may not even BE an answer yet. I rely on my own feelings and instincts to get me where I think I should be... This method has obviously gotten me no where. I find I'm not alone in my struggle when talking to people about it. I guess the truth is, we are all looking for SOMETHING that we don't have, may it be an answer, an object, a person, it's always something. Day 1 of Soul Detox talked about the path of the righteous being lit and guided. I tend to stray off of my path often, each time in a darker place. At this point in my life, I believe I may have found a hole and fallen into it, but God always finds a way to show me the light. The light for me today is the hope that I find in my God, the strength I look forward to gaining from walking with him away from this darkness, and the promise that once I walk away from this there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I let the worry of not having control take over, which triggers the anxiety inside... It's a never ending battle... but with God it can be. I know that the passages were brought to me for a specific reason. Each one different, but all held such strong power for me. This will be a long process. A healing process that may take longer than I hope to get over... but I am surrendering. All glory be to you Lord.
I am on day 4 of Soul Detox. I have felt moved while reading days 1-3, but today I felt God was really speaking to me. Philippians 4:1-13 was the text. It was when I got to 4:6-7 that I truly opened my eyes and heart to why God sent this scripture to me.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
Oddly, I started day 1 of Living the Surrendered Life right after reading the Soul Detox. The Surrendered Life focused on Matthew 6:25-27. The entire passage focuses on worrying. God tells us not to worry what we will eat or what we will wear. For he provides for even the birds, and I am far more worthy to Him.
"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life" (Matthew 6:27)
Later, I decided to end my night with the book my mom gave me When The Pieces Don't Fit...God Makes The Difference. I was reading Chapter 2 Whose Job Is It Anyway? The opening passage to the chapter Isaiah 55:8 "This plan of mine is not what you think would work." The chapter deals with a teacher's struggle to fit at a school God led her to. She turns to Him for help dealing with disciplinary issues. Toward the end of the chapter I felt that tugging at my heart as I saw in the middle of the page:
"Knowing God results in every kind of understanding." (Proverbs 9:10)
A pretty in depth lesson on letting go followed. The chapter ended with:
"But He...God...
God, the Teacher
God, the Counselor
...would make up the difference
And he'd do part of it through me if I let Him."
"His name shall be called Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6)
What are the chances that I found three totally separate, yet totally related, readings on a night I was anxious, worried, and unable to let go?
GOD.
I find myself often times trying to put pieces together that don't always fit. I try to look for an answer that may not even BE an answer yet. I rely on my own feelings and instincts to get me where I think I should be... This method has obviously gotten me no where. I find I'm not alone in my struggle when talking to people about it. I guess the truth is, we are all looking for SOMETHING that we don't have, may it be an answer, an object, a person, it's always something. Day 1 of Soul Detox talked about the path of the righteous being lit and guided. I tend to stray off of my path often, each time in a darker place. At this point in my life, I believe I may have found a hole and fallen into it, but God always finds a way to show me the light. The light for me today is the hope that I find in my God, the strength I look forward to gaining from walking with him away from this darkness, and the promise that once I walk away from this there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I let the worry of not having control take over, which triggers the anxiety inside... It's a never ending battle... but with God it can be. I know that the passages were brought to me for a specific reason. Each one different, but all held such strong power for me. This will be a long process. A healing process that may take longer than I hope to get over... but I am surrendering. All glory be to you Lord.
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